I heard something on the ZNS News tonight (November 6, 2004) that one in three women, world wide, suffer some kind of physical or mental abuse in their life times. This is outrageous!!!

I used to do self-defense lectures. My sisters, or other female friends used to organize these classes. They would prepare for ten or twenty people. Often fifty or more would turn up. Eighty percent were women. The first question I asked was. "How many of you have been victims of violence?" Almost every hand went up!!!

I never asked them to be specific, but after class women would come to me and from what they said, it was clear that their husbands, or boyfriends, were often the abusers. As an extension of these lectures I used to offer classes. 100% of the people who took the classes were women.

What is going on you guys? Why is this happening?

I will not ask you to be specific but share your views with me if you can.

I heard something on the ZNS News tonight (November 6, 2004) that one in three women, world wide, suffer some kind of physical or mental abuse in their life times. This is outrageous!!!

I used to do self-defense lectures. My sisters, or other female friends used to organize these classes. They would prepare for ten or twenty people. Often fifty or more would turn up. Eighty percent were women. The first question I asked was. "How many of you have been victims of violence?" Almost every hand went up!!!

I never asked them to be specific, but after class women would come to me and from what they said, it was clear that their husbands, or boyfriends, were often the abusers. As an extension of these lectures I used to offer classes. 100% of the people who took the classes were women.

What is going on you guys? Why is this happening?

I will not ask you to be specific but share your views with me if you can.



Abuse against anyone is wrong.

Abuse against anyone is wrong.

But of course! But why do you think women come in for more than their "share?"

But of course! But why do you think women come in for more than their "share?"

That is truly a good question.
There are many thoughts that have gone through my mind in just a few min.

Thoughts as to why not that I agree with all of the thoughts:
1 On average human females don't have mussel mass the males have. There for less able to swing as devastating a blow as a male and also less able to physically able to recover and fight back after a blow from a male.
2 Women want to believe that their love will stop the abuse. The only problem is the person they love does not feel the same love.
3 Males feel they are inherently in charge. Mostly brought on by society and the church teaching.
4 May be women are taught from ma young age they must be dependent on the men in their lives. They are taught they must fall in line with their husband’s wishes.
I could go on but better leave some for others to think of.

I heard something on the ZNS News tonight (November 6, 2004) that one in three women, world wide, suffer some kind of physical or mental abuse in their life times. This is outrageous!!!

I used to do self-defense lectures. My sisters, or other female friends used to organize these classes. They would prepare for ten or twenty people. Often fifty or more would turn up. Eighty percent were women. The first question I asked was. "How many of you have been victims of violence?" Almost every hand went up!!!

I never asked them to be specific, but after class women would come to me and from what they said, it was clear that their husbands, or boyfriends, were often the abusers. As an extension of these lectures I used to offer classes. 100% of the people who took the classes were women.

What is going on you guys? Why is this happening?

I will not ask you to be specific but share your views with me if you can.


we can test the variable physical abuse, but to say really that mental abuse can be measured on such a scale is something you really cant do!
you may do it for an individual case, but not generaly speaking!

but, physically...yes in pakistan alone, 8 women every 24hours "most under age" suffer from sexual abuse!
70-90% of women are abused or will be abused some time in their life!

That is truly a good question.
There are many thoughts that have gone through my mind in just a few min.

Thoughts as to why not that I agree with all of the thoughts:
1 On average human females don't have mussel mass the males have. There for less able to swing as devastating a blow as a male and also less able to physically able to recover and fight back after a blow from a male.
2 Women want to believe that their love will stop the abuse. The only problem is the person they love does not feel the same love.
3 Males feel they are inherently in charge. Mostly brought on by society and the church teaching.
4 May be women are taught from ma young age they must be dependent on the men in their lives. They are taught they must fall in line with their husband’s wishes.
I could go on but better leave some for others to think of.


Vicky you have some good points here, but watch Number 3. The Bible tells us that men should love their wives as Christ loves the church. So If that is the kind of love he is to have for his wife, IN NO WAY SHOULD HE HARM HER!
The Bible also indicates that husbands should be in charge, but again if he love her as Christ loves the church, he is definitely NOT to rule her in any kind of dictatorial or cruel way! That is out of the question!

There are instances where the wife likes to rule the husband also, and that is also not good! The love relationship between many men and women is very strange, like you can't live together and you can't live apart! Its like you realy need the wisdom of Solomon to really understand it, probably more wisdom than that, 'cause he himself failed. He said women's ways are past finding out.

But I believe women and men are created for each other and men should treat their wives with the greatest care and love.

Sometimes it seems to me that there is some kind of evil or satanic spirit that is messing up relationships between men and women. Otherwise, why are the men so sorry after the abuse, they make up and the same abuse just keeps happening again and again!?

because it is a cycle...
a viscious sick cycle....
we have to be better parents and family members before we can be good husbands and wives...dontcha think??

alot of people dont know how to be good fathers and mothers..
alot of people just dont know what its like to be involved in a non violent non abusive relationship, cause no one has ever been that way towards them!

spare the rod spoil the child sounds good..sometimes, but if their is no definition to why a child is being disciplined...then what is the use!

sooo
abuse your wife or your husband...no one cares, and no one expects anything to change!
thats just the way it is...to them!

Yeah we need better parents.
I just met a married couple from Massachusetts. The have 2 adopted kids. 1 has a Bahamian birth mother that all they know. The boy is 10 and he now has 3 moms
a birth mother and his 2 Moms that have adopted him. That right the 2 women are one of the ones that stood in line for hours so they could get married.
I saw nothing but love and caring for their 2 children and they were just like any other kids their age.

Thanks for all your good replies everyone. I am reading your answers. I have my own views but I am more interested in hearing yours.

Has anyone been a victim of violence? Unless I am in error, I see no women posting here.

1 On average human females don't have mussel mass the males have. There for less able to swing as devastating a blow as a male and also less able to physically able to recover and fight back after a blow from a male.

*but generally have a lot of mouth, when they know what will happen, but continue anyway

2 Women want to believe that their love will stop the abuse. The only problem is the person they love does not feel the same love.

*loving another person can't change them anymore than hope can change them, only counselling from an external source can help them - even if it comes from a book. But, that person has to be willing to change before that can happen.

3 Males feel they are inherently in charge. Mostly brought on by society and the church teaching.

*I know that I am in charge of my family, men are supposed to be the head of their family, especially if they are married. To many men leave parenting up to their 'weaker' wives to do and then the children just run over their mothers.

*being the head of the family does not give you the right to abuse your wife or if not married your female partner. your mate is your equal and should be treated as such. I have never in 15 years verbally abused my wife or ever physically harm her.

*Too bad our men don't have a strong moral core - I got my own from reading the bible, attending church and from martial arts - martial arts in particular taught me not to harm persons, and the techniques we were taught to use to inflict harm allowed you to feel the harm before you actually inflict it.

4 May be women are taught from ma young age they must be dependent on the men in their lives. They are taught they must fall in line with their husband’s wishes. I could go on but better leave some for others to think of.


Again Vicky this is because these women and even some men have a very weak moral core. They do not live by good principals. My wife would leave me for a long period or permanently if I hit her or called nasty things.

A lot of women feel that they deserve or somehow earned the bad treatment they recieve - what is needed is an injection of RIGHT principles into their minds. No matter what a women does or man - the other partner should not and is not lawfully allowed to harm their partner.

women just need to get their minds right and stop feeling sorry for themselves, and do something about their situations.

This is love:

1 Corinthians 13
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away

how many women don't trust their lover but still say they love him/her?

if you can't love your partner the way love is described above, and they don't love you the same way - you need to find a new partner.

Again Vicky this is because these women and even some men have a very weak moral core. They do not live by good principals. My wife would leave me for a long period or permanently if I hit her or called nasty things.

A lot of women feel that they deserve or somehow earned the bad treatment they recieve - what is needed is an injection of RIGHT principles into their minds. No matter what a women does or man - the other partner should not and is not lawfully allowed to harm their partner.

women just need to get their minds right and stop feeling sorry for themselves, and do something about their situations.
Typical male response blame it on the female put the responsibility on the female because the male abuses her.
This is love:

1 Corinthians 13
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away

how many women don't trust their lover but still say they love him/her?

if you can't love your partner the way love is described above, and they don't love you the same way - you need to find a new partner.

Typical male response blame it on the female put the responsibility on the female because the male abuses her.


I can never understand you vicky ...

Originally Posted by bsmbahamas

Again Vicky this is because these women and even some men have a very weak moral core. They do not live by good principals. My wife would leave me for a long period or permanently if I hit her or called nasty things.

A lot of women feel that they deserve or somehow earned the bad treatment they recieve - what is needed is an injection of RIGHT principles into their minds. No matter what a women does or man - the other partner should not and is not lawfully allowed to harm their partner.

women just need to get their minds right and stop feeling sorry for themselves, and do something about their situations.(like my wife would)

:rolleyes:

Does that sound like blaming it on the women or advise of how women should react and would react if they were mentally stronger?

Even an animal would runaway if you kept hitting it or attack you in retaliation. It is completely beyond me why any man or woman would stick around and absorb the amount of abuse they often do and then turn around and say I love him/her(mental), or they can be changed(mental), or perhaps I did something to deserve this(mental).

Emaotional problems can almost alway be solved witha physical solution - like walking away from the problem when you see you can't change it - or reporting it the authorities - not feeling sorry for yourself or hoping that things will change.

Any man who bets a woman needs to be locked up in room and let a couple of big solid women deal with his *****.

Any woman who bets a man should give me a call 1-242-SPANKME (Just Joking). I just say, all power to ya, about time that some woman can handle themselves.

Men who beat women are weak soles.


and many more will attacked by their spouses in the future.

I think the government needs to make the penalty for spousal abuse much more severe than it is now. And all you women that keep running out when you know you ga get beat down again - need to keep quiet(to avoid more beating) and get some help. seriously.

hard mouth can get you killed, not just beat up. why provoke a mad lunatic that has hurt you before until he does it again? :dunce: You can't plant peas and expect to reap corn. Shut up and get help, before your mouth earns you a coffin.

If he/she loved you he/she would not abuse you, especially in a physical manner.

:heartbeat

I can never understand you vicky ...

Originally Posted by bsmbahamas

Again Vicky this is because these women and even some men have a very weak moral core. They do not live by good principals. My wife would leave me for a long period or permanently if I hit her or called nasty things.

A lot of women feel that they deserve or somehow earned the bad treatment they recieve - what is needed is an injection of RIGHT principles into their minds. No matter what a women does or man - the other partner should not and is not lawfully allowed to harm their partner.

women just need to get their minds right and stop feeling sorry for themselves, and do something about their situations.(like my wife would)

:rolleyes:
Duh you are still putting the responsibility on women.
People just need to get their minds right and stop feeling sorry for them selves. They need to learn that problems are not solved with violence. They are solved with communication and compromise.

Does that sound like blaming it on the women or advise of how women should react and would react if they were mentally stronger?

Even an animal would runaway if you kept hitting it or attack you in retaliation. It is completely beyond me why any man or woman would stick around and absorb the amount of abuse they often do and then turn around and say I love him/her(mental), or they can be changed(mental), or perhaps I did something to deserve this(mental).

Emaotional problems can almost alway be solved witha physical solution - like walking away from the problem when you see you can't change it - or reporting it the authorities - not feeling sorry for yourself or hoping that things will change.

"Talking Fool is a very serious ting
Talking Fool is a cryin shame
Talking Fool you will taste your blood
Talkin Fool 'll leave you lyin in the mud."

I gatta hand it to Aisha Tyler of "The Fifth Wheel" when she was on Colin Quinn's show, she said, "Women need to take responsibility for their actions, and the responses they get from men as a result of said actions."

I feel the same thing applies to men as well. I've seen relationships built on sado-masochism: I'll never forget Bill and Kylie when I went to Tampa for my training.
But people fail to realize EVERYTHING has a limit, and you have to respect yorns as well as the limits of others. Know when to stop even before you get there. I've seen my Pa do it to my Ma and vice versa, seen the consequences and watch them blame US (the children).
My lesbian roommate was recently in a relationship like that, always beating up on a guy who was in love with her, until the guy end up body-slamming her on the concrete.
These are people who ain't proficient in the art of relativity, they need to start human relations as a high school course for boys and girls. That way, when they get out into the world beyond high school, they can prognosticate the pros and cons of sleeping in someone's bed ("platonically") with them when you know the person like you (romantically), or any situation really.