FACTS ONLY
03-12-08, - 03:09 PM
By Pansy Hamilton Brown, For The Guardian
Words are like arrows, after they are shot, they do not return. Even though we may apologize for wrong verbal usage, the damage is already done that in most cases, time will not restore. It is important therefore, that we think before we speak.
It has been calculated that 55 percent of our communication is in nonverbal messages, and 38 percent is reflected in the tone of our voices, while seven percent is attributed to the words that are spoken.
The spoken words are the root cause of conflicts in the home, workplace, community and in national and international issues. Our words are expressions of our feelings, therefore, the mind must be educated. In many instances our sentiments are misunderstood because of the inappropriate words and the tone of our voices.
The ability to speak is an invaluable gift, and should be guarded with gratitude. Our communication process should be clear as we answer to the dynamics of vocal variety, pitch and flexibility of the voice. As we interrelate, our communication should be painted with the hallmark of respect and sincerity.
Many become confused as we communicate, because we sometimes give mixed messages by making double statements. This allows the receiver of the message to become confused and may even encourage individuals to arrive at conclusions that were not intended.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I mean. Confusing statements like this lend to controversy, because it's contradictory to what is intended to be conveyed.
Most people appreciate when we take a firm stand when issues are involved in our communication. "To sit on the fence" is an attitude that makes people doubt our integrity and sincerity, because the avenue is open for falling on any side of the argument.
Arrogance and questionable demeanor are not necessary to be utilized in order to establish our feelings or preferences. Let us avoid "blind spots" when we speak.
We are challenged to become very analytical when people speak to us, for there is an art to flatter and abuse, while giving a smile or in commendations that are far from the heart. These are just lip services. Such behaviors cause us to doubt people's honesty and genuine feeling toward us.
We must learn to listen for clear utterances, and watch the body language that may coordinate in deceit. There are people who have refined the craft for blessing and cursing at the same time. Kicking and kissing are the skills that some people use to destroy healthy relationships. So, we must not become easily excited when words of confirmation are extended to us.
We must learn to be emotionally stable, focused and return gratitude even when there are doubts of the intentions. Our words of promise must be accompanied by fulfilling as stated. Your reputation is like a laminated beam that has durability and power. "People ought to believe in us. They should be able to take us at our word. People will sign a contract with you because they know you are going to deliver." — (Robert Schuller)
Through in-consideration we are sometimes guilty of bouncing around our anger, and use words that are damaging and discriminating to crush the ego of others. We get a satisfaction that we have the potential to control others with verbal dominance. Our frustration and indecision may cause us to nibble at those who come under our influence. Such negative considerations affect relationships and in addition tamper with our personal health. We must be resolute to sustain balance and control over our hasty conduct, evil communication, and expressions of doubt and fear
We can be winners over our mental processes and our spoken words, as we strive to have positive reactions in our dealings with others. Whatever we want to be, if the thought is fed enough, and given positive verbal expressions, it will be realized.
Remember that most things and actions are created twice. It is first a thought, then an action. We are encouraged to be positive thinkers, create good and wholesome attitude, and in turn show consideration, thoughtfulness and respect for all persons. Whenever we are tempted to lose our temper by using inappropriate words, think of the wounds that can be created and the scars that will remain.
May the invaluable gift of speech and words that we have in our command, be used to build harmony, foster good-will and deepen relationships.
*Pansy Hamilton Brown can be reached at P.O. Box 10152 Nassau, Bahamas, or pansyhamb@hotmail.com.
Words are like arrows, after they are shot, they do not return. Even though we may apologize for wrong verbal usage, the damage is already done that in most cases, time will not restore. It is important therefore, that we think before we speak.
It has been calculated that 55 percent of our communication is in nonverbal messages, and 38 percent is reflected in the tone of our voices, while seven percent is attributed to the words that are spoken.
The spoken words are the root cause of conflicts in the home, workplace, community and in national and international issues. Our words are expressions of our feelings, therefore, the mind must be educated. In many instances our sentiments are misunderstood because of the inappropriate words and the tone of our voices.
The ability to speak is an invaluable gift, and should be guarded with gratitude. Our communication process should be clear as we answer to the dynamics of vocal variety, pitch and flexibility of the voice. As we interrelate, our communication should be painted with the hallmark of respect and sincerity.
Many become confused as we communicate, because we sometimes give mixed messages by making double statements. This allows the receiver of the message to become confused and may even encourage individuals to arrive at conclusions that were not intended.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I mean. Confusing statements like this lend to controversy, because it's contradictory to what is intended to be conveyed.
Most people appreciate when we take a firm stand when issues are involved in our communication. "To sit on the fence" is an attitude that makes people doubt our integrity and sincerity, because the avenue is open for falling on any side of the argument.
Arrogance and questionable demeanor are not necessary to be utilized in order to establish our feelings or preferences. Let us avoid "blind spots" when we speak.
We are challenged to become very analytical when people speak to us, for there is an art to flatter and abuse, while giving a smile or in commendations that are far from the heart. These are just lip services. Such behaviors cause us to doubt people's honesty and genuine feeling toward us.
We must learn to listen for clear utterances, and watch the body language that may coordinate in deceit. There are people who have refined the craft for blessing and cursing at the same time. Kicking and kissing are the skills that some people use to destroy healthy relationships. So, we must not become easily excited when words of confirmation are extended to us.
We must learn to be emotionally stable, focused and return gratitude even when there are doubts of the intentions. Our words of promise must be accompanied by fulfilling as stated. Your reputation is like a laminated beam that has durability and power. "People ought to believe in us. They should be able to take us at our word. People will sign a contract with you because they know you are going to deliver." — (Robert Schuller)
Through in-consideration we are sometimes guilty of bouncing around our anger, and use words that are damaging and discriminating to crush the ego of others. We get a satisfaction that we have the potential to control others with verbal dominance. Our frustration and indecision may cause us to nibble at those who come under our influence. Such negative considerations affect relationships and in addition tamper with our personal health. We must be resolute to sustain balance and control over our hasty conduct, evil communication, and expressions of doubt and fear
We can be winners over our mental processes and our spoken words, as we strive to have positive reactions in our dealings with others. Whatever we want to be, if the thought is fed enough, and given positive verbal expressions, it will be realized.
Remember that most things and actions are created twice. It is first a thought, then an action. We are encouraged to be positive thinkers, create good and wholesome attitude, and in turn show consideration, thoughtfulness and respect for all persons. Whenever we are tempted to lose our temper by using inappropriate words, think of the wounds that can be created and the scars that will remain.
May the invaluable gift of speech and words that we have in our command, be used to build harmony, foster good-will and deepen relationships.
*Pansy Hamilton Brown can be reached at P.O. Box 10152 Nassau, Bahamas, or pansyhamb@hotmail.com.