Should a single independent woman who wants a child but does not have a husband or a steady man who is willing to commit, use her non committal boy friend to have a child. Time is of the essence as the biological clock is ticking.

She has a good job a home and is well set to handle the responsiblity.

The boyfriend on the other hand, has no problem fathering the child, but is not willing to say what he thinks about their future together.

He is not willing to fully committe to the relationship at this time, but she feels that whether he is there to help or not, she wants to have a child.

Ladies and men, what would you do???

Should a single independent woman who wants a child but does not have a husband or a steady man who is willing to commit, use her non committal boy friend to have a child. Time is of the essence as the biological clock is ticking.
She has a good job a home and is well set to handle the responsiblity.
The boyfriend on the other hand, has no problem fathering the child, but is not willing to say what he thinks about their future together.
He is not willing to fully committe to the relationship at this time, but she feels that whether he is there to help or not, she wants to have a child.
Ladies and men, what would you do???


Honestly, I would say to not have a child under those circumstances because it would really be unfair for that child to not have a fair chance in having a father in their life, especially knowing what his intentions are which is very important because when that child is born, your childs happiness comes first and everything is second.

On the other hand, technology these days allow much older women to have children compared to a decade ago. If you are approaching your 50's and your absolutely sure that this may be your last chance, then I can understand you doing so, but if you are younger, try to find that person who yourself and your child can be a family together with.

Hope this helps

Well, one of my family members actually did this. She was 41 and wanted a child. The adoption process was not working and had in my opinion a "wybe". She decided to go ahead with having the child and she made it clear to him aka da wybe that he had no obligation if he didn't want to but she would prefer if the child had a visible active father. She went ahead with it and she does not regret it. Well, needless to say they're not married but are now living and raising the child together.
In my opinion if it's important to the person then I feel she should go ahead with it. She is financially stable and has realistic expectations of her non-committing boyfriend. Because at the end of the day the only person who gets to determine how happy in life you are going to be is yourself.
Oh almost 4got 2 answa da question, (personally don't want any brats) BUT IF (huge operative word) I do find myself in that situation down the road I would go ahead and have the child.

"Non-committal boyfriend" is the new term nowadays when a man doesn't marry a gal, eh? *BOL*

Let me get this right...When a woman isn't interested or "falling over herself" to get married, she is considered "independent", but when a man does it he's "non-committal".

Ya'll need to ease up on that double standard a bit... :)

Ever consider that she may not be "the one" that he wants to marry? Or have people become so naive nowadays that marriage is the expected outcome of every relationship that exists?

As for the initial question, the "independent" lady in question will do what she wants to anyway, so what does our opinion (especially that of us men) matter? Here goes in any event...I would say that she should not do it, as her "non-committal" boyfriend will forever be tied to her at the hip...figuratively speaking.

Personally, I dont think she should have a child with the non-committal boyfriend.......I think some variables should be cleared up before this question can be answered.

If she's under 30, wait. What's the rush? Between 30 and 50, choose carefully.

A child, in my honest opinion, should not be raised without a father, and just because it is on the whims of this woman that the child MUST be created, he/she should not have to suffer.

Also, this "non-committal" boyfriend sounds a bit un-serious, or maybe he's just like the woman......too afraid to be the first about taking the relationship to the next level.........

that's my five cents.:)

i dont mean to hi-jack your thread right, but why are so many people so content with having a baby, but when it comes to marriage, everyone freezes up?

"Non-committal boyfriend" is the new term nowadays when a man doesn't marry a gal, eh? *BOL*

Let me get this right...When a woman isn't interested or "falling over herself" to get married, she is considered "independent", but when a man does it he's "non-committal".

Ya'll need to ease up on that double standard a bit... :)

Ever consider that she may not be "the one" that he wants to marry? Or have people become so naive nowadays that marriage is the expected outcome of every relationship that exists?

As for the initial question, the "independent" lady in question will do what she wants to anyway, so what does our opinion (especially that of us men) matter? Here goes in any event...I would say that she should not do it, as her "non-committal" boyfriend will forever be tied to her at the hip...figuratively speaking.

Makes sense, I think she should not do it because after reading it again, I have a feeling he may not be a good father figure in the childs life (who I am really concerned for)

This happened to me, a woman wanted a child by me. Unfortunately we got married and had a beautiful girl. Blue eyes and blond hair.

18 months later , she filed for divorce. We went through counseling and it was found out, she only wanted a sperm doner, not a husband.

Women can be wicked.

This was in the states. And, I got mailed for $83,250 in child support.

I would never put willy in a female again after that, unless she was fixed.

To be honest, if all she wants is a sperm donor and doesn't want a relationship with the father then why doesn't she get AI?

I actually think it is rather selfish for a woman to use a man in this way, and I am very concerned for the child. What if she becomes involved with another man later on down the road?

On another thought, if she is desperate to have a child, there are many unloved and unwanted children in this country, why not be a foster-parent or seek to adopt?

This happened to me, a woman wanted a child by me. Unfortunately we got married and had a beautiful girl. Blue eyes and blond hair.
18 months later , she filed for divorce. We went through counseling and it was found out, she only wanted a sperm doner, not a husband.
Women can be wicked.
This was in the states. And, I got mailed for $83,250 in child support.
I would never put willy in a female again after that, unless she was fixed.

Wow, das a wibe

To be honest, if all she wants is a sperm donor and doesn't want a relationship with the father then why doesn't she get AI?
I actually think it is rather selfish for a woman to use a man in this way, and I am very concerned for the child. What if she becomes involved with another man later on down the road?
On another thought, if she is desperate to have a child, there are many unloved and unwanted children in this country, why not be a foster-parent or seek to adopt?

I think that this is the best answer thus far, there are many children who will never have parents and unfortunately be placed in foster care so I think that she should adopt an orphan new born and give that baby a chance at a good life.

To be honest, if all she wants is a sperm donor and doesn't want a relationship with the father then why doesn't she get AI?
I actually think it is rather selfish for a woman to use a man in this way, and I am very concerned for the child. What if she becomes involved with another man later on down the road?
On another thought, if she is desperate to have a child, there are many unloved and unwanted children in this country, why not be a foster-parent or seek to adopt?

This subject, I can relate to.

The re are several children right now that I know that are neglected due to the poverty situation and could use a loving home, both male and female kids and the parents can not seem to do what is necessary.

THINK before you go ahead and add another child in The Bahamas and perhaps pick one out of the llong string of children that could use your love.

My wife has been talking about adopting one of them that are just down the road, and it seems the mother may have no problem with it. She sees it as an alternative and knows she could she her child when permitted.

my $100.00

BTW, I am not sure if I would agree. I m 54 and might have issues with this.

Side Note:

These are the of discussions that need to be on this board, besides political issues.

The fanatic trans gender / gay crap should all be deleted as soon as it is posted, just my nickel.

This subject, I can relate to.
The re are several children right now that I know that are neglected due to the poverty situation and could use a loving home, both male and female kids and the parents can not seem to do what is necessary.
THINK before you go ahead and add another child in The Bahamas and perhaps pick one out of the llong string of children that could use your love.
My wife has been talking about adopting one of them that are just down the road, and it seems the mother may have no problem with it. She sees it as an alternative and knows she could she her child when permitted.
my $100.00
BTW, I am not sure if I would agree. I m 54 and might have issues with this.

As long as you are comfortably financially able to, I tink ya should, children does bring joy and youth back in ya life (at least most of the time) The only problem is when everything is going good with you and your wife raising the child, there may be such a strong bond created, when the mother comes back for the child, it could cause a lot of damage to the child depending on thier age, if you were to decide to adopt, make sure you indicate your lawyer indicates your stipulations clearly with the mothers lawyer dough. juss ta be on da safe side.

Goddess, if you were to adopt a child, I would probably recommend you do the same thing as well.

As a single mother, it is not the easiest thing to raise a child without the support and love of the father. Especially if the child is a male because there are some things that a woman just cannot teach a little boy to do.

Hey Goddess is young and ain ready to be tied down YET!! Goddess also loves to pick up and travel at whim!!

Goddess always travels with her passport, Ya never know when a trip will pop up!

Besides, plenty nieces and nephews keeps me busy. The good thing about this is when I get tired babysitting, I drop them to their parents.


But the different views stated here were very varied and informative. I have discussed a lot of this with the person involved but the final decision will be her's to make.

But from all indications, I believe she will go ahead with her plans and have a kid of her own. She use to have a child from the Grand Bahama children's home on weekends, but she was not happy that she was not allowed to choose the child she wanted.

The child she was given, had a problem with her leg and could not walk normally, plus she was already 3 yrs and had some developmental problems.
She has considered all of the above but prefers to have child of her own.

Thanks for the suggestions and advice. It is so good to see the male beings represented in this discussion. To me the views of the men in this discussion were valuable.

Don't worry Lil fish, she say's she ain want no child support, she only want's the child.