Wendell Lewis
03-06-03, - 01:32 PM
In a previous publication my wife and I addressed the subject of “Abuse Against Women By Their partners”. In this publication I wish to continue in the same vein as I look at the subject matter, “Mary and Joseph, A Case for Domestic Violence.”
Pregnant by God?
In Matthew’s gospel we read about the birth of Jesus Christ, how His mother, Mary, was engaged to Joseph and before they came together in marriage, she told Joseph that she was pregnant and that the Holy Spirit was the father.
Wow! What a story.
The Bible use the term espoused to describe their relationship. Mary was promised to Joseph to be his wife. An act of being espoused or betroth, used in some translation, in Mary and Joseph’s days was as binding as the marriage itself. The Bible states that before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.
Now this is a serious dilemma. Joseph knew that he was not intimate with Mary and here she comes saying that she is pregnant. And she is saying that God the Holy Spirit is the father.
I would dare say that in our world today, no man in his right mind would accept this story. The record shows Joseph to be in his right mind and he did not believe Mary’s story. However, I believe that Joseph’s demeanor was not as placid as is laid out in the script.
The bible tells us that Joseph was a righteous man and he was mindful to deal with the matter privately. It says that Joseph did not want to make Mary a public example. Joseph could have dealt with this matter differently, he could have made her a public example, and he could have dealt with her harshly.
In the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy it states that if a man takes a wife and finds her not to be a virgin, “…then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house and the men of the city shall stone her to death.” So we see Joseph could have followed the letter of the law and had Mary put to death.What kept Joseph composed to the point that he was able to make sound, wise decisions? I would like to know what kept his sanity intact? Let’s examin closely Joseph’s response to this crisis in his life.
Joseph vs. the Bahamian Male
Joseph was a righteous man. He knew God, and he allowed God to direct his actions. Joseph was no different from any Bahamian man or any other man in our world today. The same emotions that any man would feel if his wife came to him and said she was pregnant and he knows that they had not been intimate, those were Joseph’s emotions also. When Mary made this Known to Joseph, Right away Joseph decided to end the relationship. I believe that Joseph got very angry. Notice what the Bible says, “Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately. But while he thought on these things…”
In the Epistle of James we find the following, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”Also in Proverbs we find, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he who ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city.”
Joseph, although very angry, because he knew God, had self-control. He did not allow his anger to control him he controlled his anger. He displayed clearly that he was truly a righteous man by bearing the fruit of the spirit as spoken of in Paul’s letter to the Galatians, “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control…”
Joseph took time to think about his response, and I believe he sought counsel.
Proverbs tells us that where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the midst of much counsel, there is safety. Joseph did not count to ten or give himself couple minutes to think. The bible says, “…behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream…” I believe that Joseph took himself away from this tense, heated, frustrated situation to a place of safety, where he could think clearly. Every time he looked in Mary’s face he heard those words, “Joseph, I’m pregnant…” over and over again, and he knew he was not the father. This was eating away at his soul.
Joseph fought with his soul (mind, will & emotions) that night. It was when he awoke from his dream that he realize that he had drifted of to sleep for he tossed and turned that night more than any other time in his life. The following may have been Joseph’s sequence of thought after being awaken from his dream. “Was it a dream? Was it really an angel of God? It must have been an angel. It had to be. Then Mary was telling the truth. Oh Lord! I must go and see her. What have I done? Those things I said to her! I must go to her right away!”
Mary, on the other hand was totally dejected, her mind filled with questions. “What is happening Lord? Did you not speak to Joseph?”She could be put to an open disgrace, or worse she could be killed. She did not sleep, how could she sleep? However, Matthew related the outcome of what could have otherwise turned out to be a murder/suicide. He relates, “Then Joseph, being raised from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife,”
Let’s "Bahamianize" Mary & Joseph
Think about the recent spate of murders in our country, many of them were centered around domestic situations, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend with relatives being caught in the crossfire. Here is a typical scenario. “ John was told that his girlfriend was cheating on him. A friend told him that he heard that she had a secret affair with her boss for some time. John was devastated. He did not want to believe it. But every thing seems to fit together now. Betty, his girlfriend, had been staying at work after hours from time to time to catch up with work backlog. She was the bosses’ secretary.” “John’s mind began to wonder and imagine. Could this be? No, it can’t. But, what if it was?” “John jumped into his car after work intending to go home but he ended up at Betty’s workplace. In the parking lot there were only two cars, Betty’s and the boss’. John’s mind race ahead of him, he started sweating…”
Ok, wake up! This is only a scenario.
However, the sad truth is that on any given week you can read a similar real life situation in our local print media, which on many occasions ends up in violence and tragedy. This scenario if taken to it’s ultimate end could have hit the headlines the next morning with caption, “MURDER/SUICIDE, POLICE CITES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”.Could these tragedies be avoided? What took place in Joseph and Mary’s situation that can help us today?
Solution
The first thing Joseph did was to move away from the point of hostility, the place where anger would be fed. Secondly, Joseph reasoned with himself. He thought through the situation. He looked at his options. He could strike out in his wrath but he would have to suffer the consequences. He could report the matter to the rulers and have Mary stoned. He could put her away privately and keep it hush, hush. “After all, Mary’s family was ok with him and this won’t look to good for someone so closely associated with the temple.” So he decided to put her away. Thirdly, Joseph rested. He went to sleep. Sleep relaxes the body. It slows down adrenalin, relaxes the mind and refreshes the spirit. I believe rest is very important in situations like this. Fourthly, although not stated, I believe Joseph sought counsel, which helped him to arrive at the option of putting Mary away. Fifthly, and most importantly, Joseph was a righteous man. He knew God. This caused God to intervene and introduce an option that Joseph had not considered, which was; ‘Mary has told you the truth, do not put her away.’ Sixthly and finally, Joseph listened to the Lord and straightway obeyed Him.
If this has been of some help to you please let us know. Write, call, or e-mail us.
P.O. Box SB 50634, Nassau, Bahamas.
E-mail: pastorlu961@yahoo.com
Or — pastorlu961@hotmail.com
Tel.# (242) 323-5907 / Fax. # (242) 322-5887
Copyright©: Wendell Lewis 2003
Pregnant by God?
In Matthew’s gospel we read about the birth of Jesus Christ, how His mother, Mary, was engaged to Joseph and before they came together in marriage, she told Joseph that she was pregnant and that the Holy Spirit was the father.
Wow! What a story.
The Bible use the term espoused to describe their relationship. Mary was promised to Joseph to be his wife. An act of being espoused or betroth, used in some translation, in Mary and Joseph’s days was as binding as the marriage itself. The Bible states that before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.
Now this is a serious dilemma. Joseph knew that he was not intimate with Mary and here she comes saying that she is pregnant. And she is saying that God the Holy Spirit is the father.
I would dare say that in our world today, no man in his right mind would accept this story. The record shows Joseph to be in his right mind and he did not believe Mary’s story. However, I believe that Joseph’s demeanor was not as placid as is laid out in the script.
The bible tells us that Joseph was a righteous man and he was mindful to deal with the matter privately. It says that Joseph did not want to make Mary a public example. Joseph could have dealt with this matter differently, he could have made her a public example, and he could have dealt with her harshly.
In the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy it states that if a man takes a wife and finds her not to be a virgin, “…then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house and the men of the city shall stone her to death.” So we see Joseph could have followed the letter of the law and had Mary put to death.What kept Joseph composed to the point that he was able to make sound, wise decisions? I would like to know what kept his sanity intact? Let’s examin closely Joseph’s response to this crisis in his life.
Joseph vs. the Bahamian Male
Joseph was a righteous man. He knew God, and he allowed God to direct his actions. Joseph was no different from any Bahamian man or any other man in our world today. The same emotions that any man would feel if his wife came to him and said she was pregnant and he knows that they had not been intimate, those were Joseph’s emotions also. When Mary made this Known to Joseph, Right away Joseph decided to end the relationship. I believe that Joseph got very angry. Notice what the Bible says, “Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately. But while he thought on these things…”
In the Epistle of James we find the following, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”Also in Proverbs we find, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he who ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city.”
Joseph, although very angry, because he knew God, had self-control. He did not allow his anger to control him he controlled his anger. He displayed clearly that he was truly a righteous man by bearing the fruit of the spirit as spoken of in Paul’s letter to the Galatians, “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control…”
Joseph took time to think about his response, and I believe he sought counsel.
Proverbs tells us that where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the midst of much counsel, there is safety. Joseph did not count to ten or give himself couple minutes to think. The bible says, “…behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream…” I believe that Joseph took himself away from this tense, heated, frustrated situation to a place of safety, where he could think clearly. Every time he looked in Mary’s face he heard those words, “Joseph, I’m pregnant…” over and over again, and he knew he was not the father. This was eating away at his soul.
Joseph fought with his soul (mind, will & emotions) that night. It was when he awoke from his dream that he realize that he had drifted of to sleep for he tossed and turned that night more than any other time in his life. The following may have been Joseph’s sequence of thought after being awaken from his dream. “Was it a dream? Was it really an angel of God? It must have been an angel. It had to be. Then Mary was telling the truth. Oh Lord! I must go and see her. What have I done? Those things I said to her! I must go to her right away!”
Mary, on the other hand was totally dejected, her mind filled with questions. “What is happening Lord? Did you not speak to Joseph?”She could be put to an open disgrace, or worse she could be killed. She did not sleep, how could she sleep? However, Matthew related the outcome of what could have otherwise turned out to be a murder/suicide. He relates, “Then Joseph, being raised from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife,”
Let’s "Bahamianize" Mary & Joseph
Think about the recent spate of murders in our country, many of them were centered around domestic situations, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend with relatives being caught in the crossfire. Here is a typical scenario. “ John was told that his girlfriend was cheating on him. A friend told him that he heard that she had a secret affair with her boss for some time. John was devastated. He did not want to believe it. But every thing seems to fit together now. Betty, his girlfriend, had been staying at work after hours from time to time to catch up with work backlog. She was the bosses’ secretary.” “John’s mind began to wonder and imagine. Could this be? No, it can’t. But, what if it was?” “John jumped into his car after work intending to go home but he ended up at Betty’s workplace. In the parking lot there were only two cars, Betty’s and the boss’. John’s mind race ahead of him, he started sweating…”
Ok, wake up! This is only a scenario.
However, the sad truth is that on any given week you can read a similar real life situation in our local print media, which on many occasions ends up in violence and tragedy. This scenario if taken to it’s ultimate end could have hit the headlines the next morning with caption, “MURDER/SUICIDE, POLICE CITES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”.Could these tragedies be avoided? What took place in Joseph and Mary’s situation that can help us today?
Solution
The first thing Joseph did was to move away from the point of hostility, the place where anger would be fed. Secondly, Joseph reasoned with himself. He thought through the situation. He looked at his options. He could strike out in his wrath but he would have to suffer the consequences. He could report the matter to the rulers and have Mary stoned. He could put her away privately and keep it hush, hush. “After all, Mary’s family was ok with him and this won’t look to good for someone so closely associated with the temple.” So he decided to put her away. Thirdly, Joseph rested. He went to sleep. Sleep relaxes the body. It slows down adrenalin, relaxes the mind and refreshes the spirit. I believe rest is very important in situations like this. Fourthly, although not stated, I believe Joseph sought counsel, which helped him to arrive at the option of putting Mary away. Fifthly, and most importantly, Joseph was a righteous man. He knew God. This caused God to intervene and introduce an option that Joseph had not considered, which was; ‘Mary has told you the truth, do not put her away.’ Sixthly and finally, Joseph listened to the Lord and straightway obeyed Him.
If this has been of some help to you please let us know. Write, call, or e-mail us.
P.O. Box SB 50634, Nassau, Bahamas.
E-mail: pastorlu961@yahoo.com
Or — pastorlu961@hotmail.com
Tel.# (242) 323-5907 / Fax. # (242) 322-5887
Copyright©: Wendell Lewis 2003