Mikki, sorry for what you have been through, but if you need help then get help, you are not only living for yourself but your kids too.

My dad used to beat my mommie so bad, I remember hiding in the closet and crying, I have brothers who seem to think that a woman only understands beating. The most horrifying episode was my dad chasing my mommie in the night through the bush with a saw.

To this day I cant stand fights, if any man think he could put his hands on me and get away with it.... Bobbit comes to mind.

In some situations the woman does not have to say a word for a beating to commence.:taped2:
I watched my dad beat my mom for years...for nothing..well for what i thought at the time was nothing.
He wanted to go out and drink and see whomever woman he wanted to see. He married a docile woman whom he knew would 'be there' when he got home, would cook and clean and look after the kids. Yet still he would come home and decide that the food cooked was not what he wanted, he would throw the pots and plates around and cause a racket. He would strike out and pick fights for nothing. I realize now that he was looking for justification of his lifestyle. He wanted to say to himself 'see why i does have to drink, see why i does have other woman, cause this one does make me so mad etc.'
The end came when i was about ten and my sisters were seven and four. One evening he was spoiling for a fight and we sat my mom in a corner and armed ourselves (knives, cutlasses etc) and surrounded her and told him that if he wanted her he had to come thru us. Lucky for us he decided not to. He could have taken all of us on and did some serious damage I know but he chose not to.
As for what to do if the offender is an officer (ref post 12) go to the police(of course not the station he works at duh!) They do protect their own on issuses but on this one not really. You just have to want to get help and they will help. When you accuse and then take it back and it happens again and again, officers are less inclined to help you.

Drinking is no excuse.....da person is the same wit less inhibitions is all.A bully or a mean person is just dat.

this is startling the level of domestic violence in Bahamian homes just from this sample study on BI...what does that say about our people...what is the genesis of its occurrence...substance abuse? Some research needs to be looked into...one can only ascertain the thought that Social Services is onto this.

Get help for what?? Just because people on here want to attempt humor by accusing me of domestic violence does not mean that I'm an abusive person and that there is domestic violence in my home. It is becoming ridiculous that people intentionally overlook the points I've made.

The point was made that one should never ever hit a woman. I was making a counterpoint that that is not the case. It is stupid to live by a rule that could cost you your life. And if you live by a rule that states violence will be triggered if a particular event occurs, then you can't make the rule solely for men and not for women. Whether its my brother, father, or male cousins -- I've gotten into fights about this issue and I don't think it is fair to demonize something that deeply effects me when the same can be said for anyone in here. For example, if a Klansman walks up to your child and say "nigger baby, you are the demon spawn of hell and I wish you death" -- I'm certain it doesn't matter that person's gender you will attack physically. That is not the same as domestic violence and neither is mine. It does however, affirm the idiocy of living by the belief that one should never ever strike a woman.


...and, I do think about my kids, which is why I've made every decision I've made so far in my life. Or at least so far in their lives.

Perfect is a human ideal that can certainly be discussed.
...but, I wasn't aiming to sound less barbaric and I wasn't suggesting that my grandmother could only be eulogized in the highest regard.
My point was that every and any one can be pushed to violence. For you it may take the threat of physical harm. It may take the threatening of your children -- which I also mentioned but I assumed that only mentioning my grandmother which to many isn't as large of an emotional figure as mine was to me, would make me seem more barbaric while mentioning my children would lessen the appearance of barbarism. So I understand the convenience of disregarding a part of what I did say.
I also won't argue that I may need professional help, even if all it teaches me is to become a better liar and disguise myself and my emotions. Or I can simply be upfront and honest even when it doesn't paint the prettiest picture of me and deal with people that hide behind....nevermind...there's no reason to feel attacked. We simply differ in opinions. Think of me whatever you wish, I doubt my feelings will change anytime soon.


Help as in this statement, apologies if I was wrong in understanding your post.

Drinking is no excuse.....da person is the same wit less inhibitions is all.A bully or a mean person is just dat.


I dont think i indicated that drinking was an excuse.....i said he wanted justification for his lifestyle....

However there are some for whom drinking is an excuse. There are docile drunks who grin and laugh and pass out. on the other hand tho, many fellas are 'stupid' or 'mean' drunks who fight and are really mean when they drink. It does not matter who they fight anyone will do, they fight their buddies they out drinking with, the bartended, strangers, the pink elephants only they can see, etc. Unfortunaltely they usually go home to wife and kids.... easy targets

Help as in this statement, apologies if I was wrong in understanding your post.


"I also won't argue that I may need professional help, even if all it teaches me is to become a better liar and disguise myself and my emotions."

-- That was sarcasm aimed at the forum for being liars and disguising themselves and their emotions.

I respect your opinion but I was speaking in general...I dont know her to comment on her...but it has to make you wonder what other kind of woman but a semi-retarded and flighty passive white woman or even an asian would stand for and tolerate his mess...

So, Taf's cousin, Rory's aunt and Tru Bahamian, YK2, Lynette, Nation builders and Kibbles moms are these types of women??
To generalize like this is offensive and totally unnecessary!

Another touchy subject for me.
I don't agree with spousal abuse at all.
But that doesn't mean that there is never ever ever a reason to hit a woman. If she talk about my mother or grandmother yall may as well send me to jail cuz I'll beat her retarded.



That is all it takes to get you to act the fool? Now that is what I call control :hammer:

You mean to tell me Yinna woman still getting lash by these fools!

cha!

Fight back! (hot grits), but then again some a yinna like man to stump yinna. "I wonder which woman like man beat pun dem" children dont even let ya beat them these days.

Another touchy subject for me.
I don't agree with spousal abuse at all.
But that doesn't mean that there is never ever ever a reason to hit a woman. If she talk about my mother or grandmother yall may as well send me to jail cuz I'll beat her retarded.

ever hear the sticks and stone rhyme??
Or turn the other cheek.
Unless someone/she swings first you have no right.

girl stab him in his sleep he can recover from hot grits...a little egg white can cure his burns lol

No get away and get help its out there.
One should never be the aggressor with violence.

black women wont deal with this crazy carrying on a la mikki...only a simple and semi-retarded white flighty woman. :shhh: :sarcastic :voodoo: :footmouth :taped2: :angel:

and the crises center is full of who??

He does have a touch of Chauvanism to him doesn't he?
LOL...
He reminds me of a guy I have the displeasure of knowing...he is a real bible thumping loon.
This guy beleives that women should go back to the 60's....LOL...
Really sad sad case!
:)

and you don't !?!

As a little boi..I watched my Daddy beat my Mom.Often,I would try to intervene"at da age of 5" only to get thrown aside.It was most frightening,"watching my family fall apart,by beating one another." I swore to god then,I would neva raise a hand to a woman and I neva have.When it gets that bad........tip on out da door.BUT,let's look at da problem from a realistic view,aside from just men dat are just bullies.Women,do not argue like men do!In a argumentative situation wit a woman,most woman pull out da big guns and say the nastiest tings dey can tink of to get their man's attention.If their is an audience......all da betta for her.One of da most fragile tings in the world is the male ego,when a man is humiliated,his instinct is to strike out physically.......so goes da story.I have seem my Mom do this and dozens of women besides,so to my bruddas I say......just walk,just leave do not lower yourself,show true courage do not let her win.Once you hit her she owns you forever as a cowardly woman beater.She knows wa she doin,don't let it happen.:angel:

When I was real young my Mom and Dad had a fight. She took a cutlas to everything in the house. There was even 2 chops on my bedroom door.
As far as I remember my Dad bundled me up and took me next door to his brother house and he just stood out side watching. The next morning everything was broken bent or torn it was as if a bomb went of. I don't ever remember them fighting again.