bahamianpride
01-31-07, - 02:22 PM
Stealing a Piece of the Pie
By Helen Klonaris
http://www.thenassauguardian.com/editorial/306786254833333.php
Dear Beloved Community
Night has fallen in these parts and I am sitting in a chair at my kitchen table thinking of what it is I want to write to you. Looking out the glass sliding door onto this city that is my home away from home, I am thinking about how grateful I am for technology that allows me to hear you, feel you, from so many miles away. I am grateful to be able to speak to my friend and co-conspirator Erin Greene across the miles and hear of the work she is doing speaking and writing as a gay Bahamian woman, a tie-wearing woman who tells it like it is and keeps telling it so no one within earshot will be tempted to forget that gays and lesbians and bisexuals and transgender people exist in the Bahamas, no matter what the churches say.
She tells me that wearing ties gets her a lot of attention. I mean to say that people have a need to look twice when she comes walking. It is possible they look twice because she is a handsome woman, and bears herself with dignity and confidence. But I will admit, the tie does add a slight twist. They are striking ties. And she is a striking woman. I have seen the way men look at her, and those ties: a mix of amusement; bemusement; fear; a now-hold-on-a-minute kind of indignation; a wait, now, what-is-this-eyes-squinting look; a well-I'll-be-damned look... you get the picture.
I have to say, I get a kind of satisfaction from the array of looks and responses she's received. I suppose it is the trickster in me that gets excited when the order of things is shaken, disturbed, rearranged. It's exciting when what we're all used to just up and changes its own self. Know what I mean? When the borders guarding places of power are transgressed.
And what we are used to, in this case, is men wearing the ties. Not all men, Erin reminds me. There are men who wear ties who go to work as accountants and lawyers and doctors and are versed in the art of tying a good knot, not too tight, not too loose, the front of the tie longer than the back. And, there are men who don't wear ties, who wear tee-shirts, polo-shirts, shirts with gold chains hanging from their necks instead of ties. Men who work on construction sites, bus tables, run jet ski operations.
"A tie is a symbol of status and only men are allowed to wear it. Only certain men. If you have a job where you wear a tie, you have status, you're a white collar worker not a blue collar worker, like a construction worker... and, men who wear ties to work have the option of not wearing ties, they can remove it and still own that status, but construction workers don't have that option." And neither, for the most part, do women, or, do they?
Not everyone Erin meets while wearing ties is averse to tie wearing women. "Sometimes," Erin tells me, "you can sense that they are all for it, that they don't necessarily feel uncomfortable." She tells me about a man who looked at her and said, "Tie eh? I never had a problem with it... Wear your tie man!" Then, as an aside, she says thoughtfully, "but he is a socialist, and has a totally different perspective." Others look at her and are "scowling, obviously uncomfortable," while others "take me for a man.... despite everything else that says I'm not. It's as though they are saying 'You must be a man, because only men wear ties.'
That reminds me of a writer who says that male is the 'default gender' when it comes to things gendered. Meaning that when we look at people, we look at them first to see if they are male, and then, if they are not male. If they are not male, they must be female. A tie signifies male. A tie signifies power associated with a particular class of male gender. For a woman to wear a tie, well, it's a little like trespassing; a little like stealing a piece of the pie, eating it, then walking around with pie filling smugly stuck to the corners of one's mouth; it's a little like stealing fire from the gods and then passing it around for everyone to use... sort of.
You'd have to be a trickster yourself to appreciate the value of such transgressions. It is the trickster's role to turn things upside down, inside out, just to remind us that traditions were once transgressions, the way things are now is likely to change, and, if the power is over here, very likely, soon it will be over there...
"Tricksters," writes Wickipedia, "can be cunning or foolish or both; they are often funny even when considered sacred or performing important cultural tasks. An example of this is the sacred 'Heyoka', whose role is to play tricks and games and by doing so raises awareness and acts as an equalizer."
In Native American Lakota tradition the 'Heyoka' is a 'contrarian' who intentionally does the opposite to what is culturally expected, all the better to challenge the community to think in ways they are not used to thinking and to see things from unconventional perspectives. Similarly, in many indigenous mythologies, the trickster is often of variable gender or may embody male and female genders at once. (Which reminds me of Junkanoo parades of old where there was always at least one cross dressing man 'acting the fool', and how the crowds loved him/her.
What has become of that trickster, I wonder?)
I'm glad Erin has taken up the tie. That she just likes ties and always wanted to wear them. In fact, I'll be looking for a particularly dashing one to bring her from San Francisco this summer.
A little gift for her growing collection of Sacred Ties.
By Helen Klonaris
http://www.thenassauguardian.com/editorial/306786254833333.php
Dear Beloved Community
Night has fallen in these parts and I am sitting in a chair at my kitchen table thinking of what it is I want to write to you. Looking out the glass sliding door onto this city that is my home away from home, I am thinking about how grateful I am for technology that allows me to hear you, feel you, from so many miles away. I am grateful to be able to speak to my friend and co-conspirator Erin Greene across the miles and hear of the work she is doing speaking and writing as a gay Bahamian woman, a tie-wearing woman who tells it like it is and keeps telling it so no one within earshot will be tempted to forget that gays and lesbians and bisexuals and transgender people exist in the Bahamas, no matter what the churches say.
She tells me that wearing ties gets her a lot of attention. I mean to say that people have a need to look twice when she comes walking. It is possible they look twice because she is a handsome woman, and bears herself with dignity and confidence. But I will admit, the tie does add a slight twist. They are striking ties. And she is a striking woman. I have seen the way men look at her, and those ties: a mix of amusement; bemusement; fear; a now-hold-on-a-minute kind of indignation; a wait, now, what-is-this-eyes-squinting look; a well-I'll-be-damned look... you get the picture.
I have to say, I get a kind of satisfaction from the array of looks and responses she's received. I suppose it is the trickster in me that gets excited when the order of things is shaken, disturbed, rearranged. It's exciting when what we're all used to just up and changes its own self. Know what I mean? When the borders guarding places of power are transgressed.
And what we are used to, in this case, is men wearing the ties. Not all men, Erin reminds me. There are men who wear ties who go to work as accountants and lawyers and doctors and are versed in the art of tying a good knot, not too tight, not too loose, the front of the tie longer than the back. And, there are men who don't wear ties, who wear tee-shirts, polo-shirts, shirts with gold chains hanging from their necks instead of ties. Men who work on construction sites, bus tables, run jet ski operations.
"A tie is a symbol of status and only men are allowed to wear it. Only certain men. If you have a job where you wear a tie, you have status, you're a white collar worker not a blue collar worker, like a construction worker... and, men who wear ties to work have the option of not wearing ties, they can remove it and still own that status, but construction workers don't have that option." And neither, for the most part, do women, or, do they?
Not everyone Erin meets while wearing ties is averse to tie wearing women. "Sometimes," Erin tells me, "you can sense that they are all for it, that they don't necessarily feel uncomfortable." She tells me about a man who looked at her and said, "Tie eh? I never had a problem with it... Wear your tie man!" Then, as an aside, she says thoughtfully, "but he is a socialist, and has a totally different perspective." Others look at her and are "scowling, obviously uncomfortable," while others "take me for a man.... despite everything else that says I'm not. It's as though they are saying 'You must be a man, because only men wear ties.'
That reminds me of a writer who says that male is the 'default gender' when it comes to things gendered. Meaning that when we look at people, we look at them first to see if they are male, and then, if they are not male. If they are not male, they must be female. A tie signifies male. A tie signifies power associated with a particular class of male gender. For a woman to wear a tie, well, it's a little like trespassing; a little like stealing a piece of the pie, eating it, then walking around with pie filling smugly stuck to the corners of one's mouth; it's a little like stealing fire from the gods and then passing it around for everyone to use... sort of.
You'd have to be a trickster yourself to appreciate the value of such transgressions. It is the trickster's role to turn things upside down, inside out, just to remind us that traditions were once transgressions, the way things are now is likely to change, and, if the power is over here, very likely, soon it will be over there...
"Tricksters," writes Wickipedia, "can be cunning or foolish or both; they are often funny even when considered sacred or performing important cultural tasks. An example of this is the sacred 'Heyoka', whose role is to play tricks and games and by doing so raises awareness and acts as an equalizer."
In Native American Lakota tradition the 'Heyoka' is a 'contrarian' who intentionally does the opposite to what is culturally expected, all the better to challenge the community to think in ways they are not used to thinking and to see things from unconventional perspectives. Similarly, in many indigenous mythologies, the trickster is often of variable gender or may embody male and female genders at once. (Which reminds me of Junkanoo parades of old where there was always at least one cross dressing man 'acting the fool', and how the crowds loved him/her.
What has become of that trickster, I wonder?)
I'm glad Erin has taken up the tie. That she just likes ties and always wanted to wear them. In fact, I'll be looking for a particularly dashing one to bring her from San Francisco this summer.
A little gift for her growing collection of Sacred Ties.