Hi All,
This is my first story so bear with me :)
It isn't finished yet and I haven't come up with a title for it asyet.
Tell me what you think.
_____________________________________________

Early in the morning when everyone is all seated and ready to face the day it was always predictable the time she would arrive. 9:30am everyday like bad money,“Mr. Adderley”, she shouted as though there was heavy traffic nearby while she slammed her groceries on my counter. She was so loud and boisterous, everything my mother told me to avoid in a young lady but if I had known then the role she would play in my life in the coming years I would have called my mom a crazy woman.

“Ms. Evens”, was always my reply to her as I pretended to check my draw totals with hope that she would think that I was busy and choose another counter. Everyday the same thing, I became the laughing stock whenever she came in the store. All eyes on me!

“Now come on Knowlen you know what my last name is. You already divorce me?” That always made me burn inside as I look around at the other cashiers laughing at me as I turned blue in the face. All she could do was smile, leaning on my counter that I had spent all morning cleaning and was now filthy with the goo from her packaged meats that wasn't sealed properly.

“You know that this is the ten items or less counter Nadia. Why must we go over this everyday? You have eleven items on the counter and the sign clearly says ten. Can't you read? Or you just want to bother me because I'm the only male cashier in here?” This was always my defense but it never worked as she placed the already opened pack of chewing gum back on the shelf.

“There you go Mr. Adderley now ring me up”. Without hesitation within two minutes I had her total on the screen: $9.50 and as expected she reached for the opened pack of gum. “There you go Mr. Adderley that should square it off at $10.00”. The same total everyday for her groceries even though the list changed every morning. Today it was: 1 crate of eggs, 1 bag of grits, 2 cans of cream, 1 small bag of sugar and 2 gooey packs of pork chops.

“Mommy said to tell you hi”.
“Yeah?” Like I knew her mother. She never came to the store but always sent her little pest to come and torture me. As curious as I was I never asked her why it was that her mom never came to get the groceries. I didn't want her to feel like I was interested in her family or anything but today something told me to ask her with the intension of getting them to change roles.

To be continued...
_____________________
© Delroy Meadows 2004
www.bahamasissues.com

Hi All,
This is my first story so bear with me :)
It isn't finished yet and I haven't come up with a title for it asyet.
Tell me what you think.
_____________________________________________
Early in the morning when everyone is all seated and ready to face the day it was always predictable the time she would arrive. 9:30am everyday like bad money,“Mr. Adderley”, she shouted as though there was heavy traffic nearby while she slammed her groceries on my counter. She was so loud and boisterous, everything my mother told me to avoid in a young lady but if I had known then the role she would play in my life in the coming years I would have called my mom a crazy woman.

“Ms. Evens”, was always my reply to her as I pretended to check my draw totals with hope that she would think that I was busy and choose another counter. Everyday the same thing, I became the laughing stock whenever she came in the store. All eyes on me!

“Now come on Knowlen you know what my last name is. You already divorce me?” That always made me burn inside as I look around at the other cashiers laughing at me as I turned blue in the face. All she could do was smile leaning on my counter that I had spent all morning cleaning and was now filthy with the goo from her packaged meats that wasn't sealed properly.

“You know that this is the ten items or less counter Nadia. Why must we go over this everyday? You have eleven items on the counter and the sign clearly says ten. Can't you read? Or you just want to bother me because I am the only male cashier in here?” This was always my defense but it never worked as she placed the already opened pack of chewing gum back on the shelf.

“There you go Mr. Adderley now ring me up”. Without hesitation within two minutes I had her total on the screen: $9.50 and as expected she reached for the opened pack of gum. “There you go Mr. Adderley that should square it off at $10.00”. The same total everyday for her groceries even though the list changed every morning. Today it was: 1 crate of eggs, 1 bag of grits, 2 cans of cream, 1 small bag of sugar and 2 gooey packs of pork chops.

“Mommy said to tell you hi”.
“Yeah?” Like I knew her mother. She never came to the store but always sent her little pest to come and torture me. As curious as I was I never asked her why it was that her mom never came to get the groceries. I didn't want her to feel like I was interested in her family or anything but today something told me to ask her with the intension of getting them to change roles.

To be continued...

_____________________
© Delroy Meadows 2004
www.bahamasissues.com


Hey boy, I like this stuff...ya good! I am a writer myself and I just go batty when I met persons that can make ink create dramma that takes me and deposit me into the nueance of the moment! That story is about every decent Bahamian boy's striving to be a good man...then the girl who put her eyes on him is usually the one mommy don't want around her good lil sweet boy! :p

That scene brought back a pile of boyhood sights, smells social interactions and the down home way of where I grew up.

Nuff said...ya gat skills boy...ah waiting fer the rest a da story!:p

Hey boy, I like this stuff...ya good! I am a writer myself and I just go batty when I met persons that can make ink create dramma that takes me and deposit me into the nueance of the moment! That story is about every decent Bahamian boy's striving to be a good man...then the girl who put her eyes on him is usually the one mommy don't want around her good lil sweet boy! :p
That scene brought back a pile of boyhood sights, smells social interactions and the down home way of where I grew up.
Nuff said...ya gat skills boy...ah waiting fer the rest a da story!:p


Thanks. I will try to finish it up very soon.

Hi Delroy, I wish I had seen this before -- I noticed it only yesterday. Some years ago I did an extensive course in writing in general. It covered everything except poetry. But now I practise only short stories and poetry!

Your work looks pretty good. I would suggest that you give the store a name and a location (especially a location you are familiar with). This would add realism and atmosphere to your story.

Hi Delroy, I wish I had seen this before -- I noticed it only yesterday. Some years ago I did an extensive course in writing in general. It covered everything except poetry. But now I practise only short stories and poetry!
Your work looks pretty good. I would suggest that you give the store a name and a location (especially a location you are familiar with). This would add realism and atmosphere to you story.

Thanks Demos. The store does have a name. I had almost given up on finishing this story due to my busy schedule but I will try my best now to complete it.
Here is some more of that chapter:
-------------------------------------------------------------
Not to seem too nosy I had to execute this question just right: “So when am I going to meet your Mom?” Darn! As I looked at the extended smile on her face I knew that I had done it now. She paused for what seemed to be an eternity and just steered at me with a surprising look. I was waiting on her to comment on my poor choice of words but to my surprise she quickly grabbed her bags and left the store. “Yeah, that's how all you'll man go. Every time a girl try to be nice you'll always run them”. Sheila (who was five counters down from me) just had to add her two cents on the matter and she didn't even know what happened. I didn't even know! I was left clueless but curious as to what triggered such an exit.

My thoughts were quickly disturbed by a tap on my back by Mr. Sands who was the owner, manager and founder of Sands and Sons Supermarket “A family Company” (at least that's what the motto says) but it seems like he plays all the boss roles and after two years of working here I am yet to meet one of his people. “Mr. Adderley please leave the girl talk for when you get off. We are trying to run a business here.” We who? All you do everyday is collect money and watch time. I wanted to answer him so badly but I remembered that I was only two payments away from my dream car. I shook it off with a plastic smile and returned to my work.

As I walked home that evening I tried not spend too much time looking at the colors of the clouds or the sunset keeping in mind that an island wide curfew was in place from 6:30pm which left me with little time for sightseeing as my knockoff hour was at 5:00pm. So much has changed. I'm only 21 but I could still remember when a kid could have taken evening walks all over Nassau without worrying about ending up on the news the next morning. It was getting really cold and not just because Christmas was near but in the eyes of almost everyone you meet the warmth that made us Bahamian was gone. They use to say that a smile could be found here in the Bahamas but now all that is seen is faces of uncertainty.

After the elections last year we felt for sure that this time we had elected the right party. The Bahamians First Movement promised new hope by restoring the sovereignty of Bahamians all over the Bahamas in every area.

To be continued....

Keep it coming! I want to know what happens next!

Thanks Demos. The store does have a name. I had almost given up on finishing this story due to my busy schedule but I will try my best now to complete it.
Here is some more of that chapter:
-------------------------------------------------------------
Not to seem too nosy I had to execute this question just right: “So when am I going to meet your Mom?” Darn! As I looked at the extended smile on her face I knew that I had done it now. She paused for what seemed to be an eternity and just steered at me with a surprising look. I was waiting on her to comment on my poor choice of words but to my surprise she quickly grabbed her bags and left the store. “Yeah, that's how all you'll man go. Every time a girl try to be nice you'll always run them”. Sheila (who was five counters down from me) just had to add her two cents on the matter and she didn't even know what happened. I didn't even know! I was left clueless but curious as to what triggered such an exit.
My thoughts were quickly disturbed by a tap on my back by Mr. Sands who was the owner, manager and founder of Sands and Sons Supermarket “A family Company” (at least that's what the motto says) but it seems like he plays all the boss roles and after two years of working here I am yet to meet one of his people. “Mr. Adderley please leave the girl talk for when you get off. We are trying to run a business here.” We who? All you do everyday is collect money and watch time. I wanted to answer him so badly but I remembered that I was only two payments away from my dream car. I shook it off with a plastic smile and returned to my work.
As I walked home that evening I tried not spend too much time looking at the colors of the clouds or the sunset keeping in mind that an island wide curfew was in place from 6:30pm which left me with little time for sightseeing as my knockoff hour was at 5:00pm. So much has changed. I'm only 21 but I could still remember when a kid could have taken evening walks all over Nassau without worrying about ending up on the news the next morning. It was getting really cold and not just because Christmas was near but in the eyes of almost everyone you meet the warmth that made us Bahamian was gone. They use to say that a smile could be found here in the Bahamas but now all that is seen is faces of uncertainty.
After the elections last year we felt for sure that this time we had elected the right party. The Bahamians First Movement promised new hope by restoring the sovereignty of Bahamians all over the Bahamas in every area.
To be continued....

This story is very interesting you have a talent with keeping your readers hooked to every sentence,:biggie: waiting for the next part.

Thank you :)

Good work Delroy! I like it. Keep it coming!

Great Story.

Keep it coming.

Once was a time was a very old time..
The monkey chew tobacco and he spit white lime...

Well it wasnt MY time..
And it wasnt YOUR time..
it was ooooooolllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee time!
:)

Once was a time was a very old time..
The monkey chew tobacco and he spit white lime...
Well it wasnt MY time..
And it wasnt YOUR time..
it was ooooooolllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee time!
:)


LOL! You are either completely nuts or you're on crack! :voodoo:

LOL! You are either completely nuts or you're on crack! :voodoo:


its a bahamian poem.
not that you would know because you are a foreigner!

:taped2:

its a bahamian poem.
not that you would know because you are a foreigner!
:taped2:
:D

when we gettin more?