Cedric Moss
05-19-04, - 09:48 PM
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Offended Christians: Causes & Cure – Part 3
Today I conclude my three-part commentary on offended Christians. So far, I have covered two main points. First of all, I shared that our primary objective in conflict should be to glorify God and second, that we should focus on our own contribution to the conflict before considering that of others. In this concluding article, I will address the last point: Go and show your brother his fault with the hope of reconciliation.
Go In Private
There are numerous passages of Scripture that directly and indirectly address how we should go about resolving conflict. Matthew 18:15-20 is perhaps the clearest. We are instructed to go privately to our brother with whom we have a conflict and show him his fault. Bearing in mind that the goal is reconciliation, it is important that we go with an attitude consistent with this objective. The hope is that the conflict will be resolved between the two parties without anyone else even being aware of it.
Unfortunately, it is the practice of some to speak to others prior to and after going to their brother with whom they have the conflict. Thus they engage in gossip and slander and often times intensify the conflict. Being aware of the command to go privately, they justify speaking with other uninvolved parties using religious cloaks like “sharing” and asking them to “come in agreement” with them about the situation. However, no matter how spiritual it might sound, speaking to someone who is uninvolved in a conflict, in the first instance, is wrong.
Go With others
There are times when we go privately to our brother with whom we are in conflict and are unsuccessful in resolving it. Under such conditions, we are directed to take one or two other persons along, with the same objective - to resolve the conflict (see Matthew 18:16). Obviously, the other one or two persons who are invited to help resolve the conflict should be credible in the eyes of the parties who are at odds. They should be spiritually mature and impartial, fearing God and not man. In addition, the primary objective remains the same and that is to glorify God and bring reconciliation.
Tell the Church
As difficult as it is, the reality is that even after meeting one-on-one and involving others in the reconciliation process, we are still sometimes unsuccessful. The provision of Scripture then is to tell the church (see Matthew 18:17). This does not mean, “go and broadcast the conflict to every church member.” It would seem that the most responsible meaning of “tell the church” is to advise and involve the leadership of the church in this final aspect of the reconciliation process.
At this stage, since there are two or three independent witnesses to the previous efforts towards reconciliation, the church’s leaders should be able to have an accurate account of the issues in the conflict. Thus, they can bring their God given authority to bear upon those persons, who up to this point, refused to reconcile their differences as Christ commanded.
Church Discipline
When an individual refuses to resolve a conflict, even after the authority of the church’s leadership is brought to bear upon him, according to Scripture, he is to be disciplined. The ultimate form of discipline is expulsion from the church community (see Matthew 18:17 and 1st Corinthians 5:2-5).
The process of the church exercising authority in this manner is called “church discipline” which, although Biblical, is rarely practiced today. Additionally, in some cases where it is practiced and the individual being disciplined refuses, he simply goes up the street and becomes a part of another church where he is warmly welcomed, no questions asked. If he happens to be gifted, he is not just warmly welcomed, but might also be given a position. In such cases, instead of being the ultimate custodian of the conflict resolution process, many churches are aiding and abetting unresolved conflict.
The Bottom Line
Even though I have taken three weeks to address this issue of conflicts and offences among Christians, I realize that I am not telling the average Christian anything new…they know this. This then begs an obvious question: Why then are so many Christians refusing to resolve conflicts and instead choosing to be offended? To my mind, it’s a one word answer: disobedience. Yes, we know but refuse to do. Therefore, I do not write to provide information but instead that the Holy Spirit would bring conviction where applicable. And if it cures offence in just one relationship, considering the value our Lord places on this process, this series would be well worth the time and effort.
Cedric Moss serves as Senior Pastor at Kingdom Life World Outreach Centre. Commentary and feedback may be directed to: apostle@kingdom-life.org.
Offended Christians: Causes & Cure – Part 3
Today I conclude my three-part commentary on offended Christians. So far, I have covered two main points. First of all, I shared that our primary objective in conflict should be to glorify God and second, that we should focus on our own contribution to the conflict before considering that of others. In this concluding article, I will address the last point: Go and show your brother his fault with the hope of reconciliation.
Go In Private
There are numerous passages of Scripture that directly and indirectly address how we should go about resolving conflict. Matthew 18:15-20 is perhaps the clearest. We are instructed to go privately to our brother with whom we have a conflict and show him his fault. Bearing in mind that the goal is reconciliation, it is important that we go with an attitude consistent with this objective. The hope is that the conflict will be resolved between the two parties without anyone else even being aware of it.
Unfortunately, it is the practice of some to speak to others prior to and after going to their brother with whom they have the conflict. Thus they engage in gossip and slander and often times intensify the conflict. Being aware of the command to go privately, they justify speaking with other uninvolved parties using religious cloaks like “sharing” and asking them to “come in agreement” with them about the situation. However, no matter how spiritual it might sound, speaking to someone who is uninvolved in a conflict, in the first instance, is wrong.
Go With others
There are times when we go privately to our brother with whom we are in conflict and are unsuccessful in resolving it. Under such conditions, we are directed to take one or two other persons along, with the same objective - to resolve the conflict (see Matthew 18:16). Obviously, the other one or two persons who are invited to help resolve the conflict should be credible in the eyes of the parties who are at odds. They should be spiritually mature and impartial, fearing God and not man. In addition, the primary objective remains the same and that is to glorify God and bring reconciliation.
Tell the Church
As difficult as it is, the reality is that even after meeting one-on-one and involving others in the reconciliation process, we are still sometimes unsuccessful. The provision of Scripture then is to tell the church (see Matthew 18:17). This does not mean, “go and broadcast the conflict to every church member.” It would seem that the most responsible meaning of “tell the church” is to advise and involve the leadership of the church in this final aspect of the reconciliation process.
At this stage, since there are two or three independent witnesses to the previous efforts towards reconciliation, the church’s leaders should be able to have an accurate account of the issues in the conflict. Thus, they can bring their God given authority to bear upon those persons, who up to this point, refused to reconcile their differences as Christ commanded.
Church Discipline
When an individual refuses to resolve a conflict, even after the authority of the church’s leadership is brought to bear upon him, according to Scripture, he is to be disciplined. The ultimate form of discipline is expulsion from the church community (see Matthew 18:17 and 1st Corinthians 5:2-5).
The process of the church exercising authority in this manner is called “church discipline” which, although Biblical, is rarely practiced today. Additionally, in some cases where it is practiced and the individual being disciplined refuses, he simply goes up the street and becomes a part of another church where he is warmly welcomed, no questions asked. If he happens to be gifted, he is not just warmly welcomed, but might also be given a position. In such cases, instead of being the ultimate custodian of the conflict resolution process, many churches are aiding and abetting unresolved conflict.
The Bottom Line
Even though I have taken three weeks to address this issue of conflicts and offences among Christians, I realize that I am not telling the average Christian anything new…they know this. This then begs an obvious question: Why then are so many Christians refusing to resolve conflicts and instead choosing to be offended? To my mind, it’s a one word answer: disobedience. Yes, we know but refuse to do. Therefore, I do not write to provide information but instead that the Holy Spirit would bring conviction where applicable. And if it cures offence in just one relationship, considering the value our Lord places on this process, this series would be well worth the time and effort.
Cedric Moss serves as Senior Pastor at Kingdom Life World Outreach Centre. Commentary and feedback may be directed to: apostle@kingdom-life.org.