It is a sad state of affairs when a family unit crumbles. When the typical reaction on both sides of the split is to break and run, it makes for an even sadder story.

I would not know where to begin in describing the effects that a situation like the aforementioned would have on a child. In fact, I cannot; I am a product of what is commonly termed a “nuclear family” (father, mother and siblings). My exposure to a solid version of this family structure, as well as my resulting achievements over the years, have led me to form a personal opinion that perhaps many of society’s ills can be traced back to an inadequate and incomplete upbringing of a child, most likely caused by the physical or emotional absence of one or both parents. While I am aware that there are many success stories relating to children brought up by single parent homes, I do adhere to the belief that proper guidance by both a father and a mother figure is necessary for a child’s essential psychological development. (Note that this belief also ventures as far as to approve of proper guidance of a child in an environment that is known as an “extended family” (two or more adults from different generations of a family, who share a household).

I feel that the primary thing which needs to be given greater value in Bahamian society is the way in which our men and women choose their partners. Instead of evaluating the full compatibility matrix of both parties before bringing a child into the world, many potential parents tend to neglect this important step and instead selfishly barter their own wants and needs in the relationship. An important fact to remember always is that a child is led by example - whatever events and behaviours a child grows up around are often exactly what they end up duplicating in adult life. The Bahamian saying “Ya ga be just like ya pa (or ma)” is more foreboding than many dare to realize. (And yes, I do realize that there are exceptions to the rule)

Will this Bahamian society be able to stop (or even slow down) this ever-expanding cycle of the breakdown of the family unit? I believe that this question is not an issue of “maybe” – We absolutely have to. Otherwise, we have not yet begun to see the moral and social decay that will plaque this nation in the upcoming years. And while some of us may not be around to experience the brunt of these societal problems, it is guaranteed that our children will.

It is a sad state of affairs when a family unit crumbles. When the typical reaction on both sides of the split is to break and run, it makes for an even sadder story.

I would not know where to begin in describing the effects that a situation like the aforementioned would have on a child. In fact, I cannot; I am a product of what is commonly termed a “nuclear family” (father, mother and siblings). My exposure to a solid version of this family structure, as well as my resulting achievements over the years, have led me to form a personal opinion that perhaps many of society’s ills can be traced back to an inadequate and incomplete upbringing of a child, most likely caused by the physical or emotional absence of one or both parents. While I am aware that there are many success stories relating to children brought up by single parent homes, I do adhere to the belief that proper guidance by both a father and a mother figure is necessary for a child’s essential psychological development. (Note that this belief also ventures as far as to approve of proper guidance of a child in an environment that is known as an “extended family” (two or more adults from different generations of a family, who share a household).

I feel that the primary thing which needs to be given greater value in Bahamian society is the way in which our men and women choose their partners. Instead of evaluating the full compatibility matrix of both parties before bringing a child into the world, many potential parents tend to neglect this important step and instead selfishly barter their own wants and needs in the relationship. An important fact to remember always is that a child is led by example - whatever events and behaviours a child grows up around are often exactly what they end up duplicating in adult life. The Bahamian saying “Ya ga be just like ya pa (or ma)” is more foreboding than many dare to realize. (And yes, I do realize that there are exceptions to the rule)

Will this Bahamian society be able to stop (or even slow down) this ever-expanding cycle of the breakdown of the family unit? I believe that this question is not an issue of “maybe” – We absolutely have to. Otherwise, we have not yet begun to see the moral and social decay that will plaque this nation in the upcoming years. And while some of us may not be around to experience the brunt of these societal problems, it is guaranteed that our children will.

I agree! It is a sad situation. But I ask myself, "Has the Bahamas ever had a strong history of family values?" With an illegitimate birth rate of 75% one has to wonder. It is useless to ask a Mother and Father to act responsibly and be a good example to their kids if they don't know how to do that themselves.

Having said that let me say that there are and have been strong nuclear families but they are not in the majority and I doubt they ever were. The strength of the Bahamian family was not nuclear but, as you mentioned, extended - grand folks, Aunts and Uncles, next door neighbors, even strangers. I remember one day when I was eleven years old, I cut school early to go down town to buy a toy gun. I was harassed by everyone, black and white - "Why you out of school so early?" "Boy, go back to school!" Even the guy in the toy store would not serve me, "Until school is out!!" I was so scared that I never cut school again, even in my college days!

We have lost that expended family. Old folks are pushed to the side. We don't even know the neighbors names, and strangers are afraid to say anything. What we need to bring back is the community, the extended family.

Hi Yorick, CG, this is a very important topic. I fully agree with all of what Yorick has said. And CG, there has been so must lack of trust because of crime, etc, it really does not seem that we could have that extended family and that sense of community again, but I guess we should still try.

I think much of it is a spiritual problem, which causes marriages to break up and all the sweethearting, etc. Once I heard a pastor on TV said, in reference to married couples, that no one is compatible, they have to work at it. At first I felt she was a bit off, but when you look at the number of couples who saved their marriages by really working at being compatible, then what this pastor said seems correct. Then, too, look at what happens when two people are engaged. The engagement period is usually so sweet and beautiful, you would think its a match made in heaven! And this is because both parties are on their best behaviour. But many times after the marriage and they start to live together, that is where the nit picking begins.

This topic I believe is foundational to our success as a nation, and I hope that by discussing it we can come up with some real solutions to family and marital problems. It is said that as the family goes, so does the nation.