The Bahamas GDP grows 25% in one year
Mon Aug 6, 2012 3:42PM EDT



The Bahamas is reporting another year of record economic growth for the 4th straight year in a row. Official in the Auditor's General Office and Ministry of Finance reported yesterday that GDP grew and astonishing 50% in one year.

With the removal of all political parties from office and the establishment of a executive committee to run the country in late 2007, the Bahamas has seen a turn around in its fortunes.

The spiraling murder rate was ground to a near halt with only 3 murders reported in the 5 years. The traffic fatality rate also dropped 50% with the removal of 25% of the cars from the city of Nassau and a new 24 hr public transit system.


The executive committee was able to effectively quell the arguments in the House of Assembly. Maintaining all personal liberties, the country's economy was diversified and restructured. Tourism was removed as the only pillar and joined by Financial services, substainable agriculture ecological development and substainable energy sales and technology.

The education revamped to include a greater emphasis on Math, Science and culture.

Three years ago the country became the largest producer of electricity from wind and solar sources. The sales of electricity to the US, Canada, the West Indians and South America saw a record $32.8 billion brought into the treasury.

Starting at an estimated $5Billion GDP in 2007, the executive committee was able to double group rates each year, while controlling inflation. The GDP stand at $160 Billon Dollars

World official including those in China and the US are marvelling at the progress the tiny nation of 300,000 has made.

"We are very proud of how far we have come, " say committee member Ieinatief Jones. "It was tough, but removing the old US Dollar peg and revamping our antiquated system of customs duties was important. We shored up the people to weather the storm and then went and got it done."

"No longer do the Bahamian people have their hands out waiting for largesse at election time. It's all about how can I open my own small business." said a elated Jones.

"The civil service was purged of workers who would not work creating a new era for out people."

Last year the Bahamas bought a stake in Goldman Sachs and various interest in over 15 international companies in an attempt to solidify it's position as a global powerhouse.
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Kerzner Buys the Bahamas in a Massive Privatisation Deal

Solomon Kerzer, CEO of Atlantis and Sun announced today that he is buying the Bahamas in a massive privatisation deal. With the Central Bank heavily discounting government notes, Kerzner has bought enough of the government debt equaling the government valuation by several factors of magnitude.

"Rather than wait for the debt to mature we decided that it was of junk bond status and exercised our right of redemption to go after the assets backing -- the country. It is sort of a hostile takeover" said Kerzner.

One of the first steps that Kerzner intends to take, is to demolish Bay Street. The supreme court building is in such sad repair that it is slated for demolition, however the House of Assembly could be spruced up and a Starbucks put in.

Other steps include banning the dutty wine (it turns the stomachs of tourists who are not used to sex) and evicting all residents of Over the Hill to make way for a massive parking lot stretching from Shirley street to Carmichael Road.

Lake Nancy will be a new dolphin encounters .... ~~~~ etc & etc.

ROFL!!! :p

Scary, but why is your scenario more likely????

Too funny - wish parts of it were true - particularly like the name Ieinatief Jones. :)

He he..this thread is loose off da Goose(grey) :p

US Homeland Security Director, Mr Tommy Turnquest testified in Congress that "Operation Save the Bahamas" is vital to the ongoing national economy of the Eastern Seaboard. President Chelsea Clinton at her re-election in 2020 as Republican president of the United States of the North Americas: New England and Canadian Provinces, indicated that Director Turnquest is uniquely qualified to direct the resettlement program for the more than 500, 000 mixed and native Bahamain people who have left their native lands in search of better economic conditions, because, he too like many of them, was once native to those Islands.

However, upperclassed, former govrnment minister and trained economist, he too become victim to poor national growth planning of the late 1990 and 2007for that nation, when lax immigration policies and anchor project doctrines dominated the political mind set of the day.

Mr Turnquest emphasized to Congressional members that the Bahamas became the hemisphere's poorest nation after the anchor projects implimented by former PM, P.G. Christie, party leader during the PLP one term as government from 2002 to 2007, poor immigration policies to stem an overburden of appoximatly 1.5 million Haitain, Jamaician and Cuban mirants to the Islands nation of just a littlte over 300,000 people, the Bay Street riots which resulted from the Supereme Court overturning all three contested constincancy seat won by the ruling party (FNM) in 2007, the Haitian government on the former Bahamian Island of Abaco deporting all mixed Haitian and native Bahamians to New Providence Island, and finally, the Ginn Co on Grand Bahama Island and the Freeport Authority invoked their heads of Agreement powers of governamce if the nation goes into recievership, all in quick succession!

And following those economic tremors, a straw poll was taken amoung persons with $2 000, 000 or more in a banks, which is made up of majority white property owners of anchor projects, Mr Hans Babaak, a one time worker of the PA, was chosen President of all non-Haitian and Bahamain Provinces, with former governemnt minister Phenton Neymour as dupty governor of the Island of New Providence. New Providence is the only Mixed and native Bahamaian province left in the entire country.

However, Mr Turnquest continued, that the Islands nation lost approximately 45% GDP between 2013 and 20017, after which it remained stable at 45.6%, except in the Cuban Provinces of Bimini and Berry Islands and the anchor projects provences.

Because of those incidents, The Bahamas, he insisted, saw a constant migration of Mixed and native Bahamians to the Florida Eastern towns district, until Governer Raynard Rigby decleared a state of emergency and effected the blockade of 2012 and stemmed the flow of people towards the DC Metropolitan area and other States North, in addition to his "black foot/white foot policy, which was crafted by jailed Bahamian revolutionary leader, Fred Mitchell who attempted to take over the UN in 2010.

However, Director Turnquest informed Congress that bilateral talks resulted in the Haitain government on Abaco and President Babaak on GB agreed to the repratriation of 600 Mixed race Bahamians per year for ten years. Hence the need for the 6 billion price tag for the Mashall Plan-like program of repratriation of the native peoples of that formed democratic nation. If the money becomes avaiable int time for the first persons to begin building their nation, Standard and Poor projects a 50% GDP increase for the first quater for that year.

ROFLMBO! :p

Lawd what did I do! One fake news story and 'erry body gone crazy!!!!

LOL! :D





Good one Licks!

Sunny- you is a mess now, say "Ieinatief Jones". Mossie cause me ta pee my pants at dat one!

:hammer: